I don’t have many features that may be considered by the opposite sex as standout sexy. Although a lady did ask me once if I’d had my ears pinned back as a kid.
I hadn’t, but I treated this as a back handed complement as, in my opinion, my ears are rather well positioned on the side of my dome.
Yet until the other day I had taken my best assets for granted.
On the other hand, my teeth, eyes, and bollocks have received regular clinical attention, and, by reason of age, my arse has received a thorough MOT too.
A rapid and sudden loss of hearing and pain in my left ear yielded a less than reassuring response from the doctors who simply recommended industrial strength ear drops, which if dropped on the floor would scorch the lino. However, having to keep the TV volume pumped to exceed the blare of an airhorn at the speedway ran the real risk of an immediate and violent neighbourly dispute. I had to do something as the pain became insufferable.
I had never heard, pardon the pun, of an audiologist but thank goodness I found Michael Guy of mi EARS. We are currently on treatment two of three and the years of embedded shite and corruption that has steadily built up, like silt along the banks of the Nile, is being sucked away by the magic of microsuction.
As the American author Helen Keller is reputed to have said, “Blindness cuts us off from things, but deafness cuts us off from people.”
As a true Cockney would say, “Look after your Lords and Peers.”
© Ian Kirke 2021 & uncredited photograph.
Title photo by Anna Elizabeth on Unsplash