The world according to Kirkey
A recent Facebook post provoked a sudden synaptic spasm: Some people think it’s peculiar that I am a Notts County season ticket holder and follow them all over the country whilst living in Berkshire, questioning my sanity and the amount of money that I spend on this enduring pursuit. But I’m not daft! In comparison … Read more
Following Parliament’s historic decision Kirkey poses the question, “when do you want to die?” Even in the darkest recesses of humanity, humour has its rightful place. Triboulet, a 16th century jester at the royal court of King Francis I, smacked the rotund bottom of his boss in a fit of farce. The unimpressed monarch decreed … Read more
To the ordinary Brit urine literally flows through mainstream culture. The vernacular is awash with references to this yellow fluid. Do you think I’m taking the piss? Look outside it’s almost certainly pissing down. But don’t piss about or your performance will inevitably be piss-poor. Better to celebrate and get pissed than to get pissed … Read more
Errors are a part of life. However, I would assert that there is a hierarchy of miscalculations, with those that occupy the higher echelons of mistake worthy of raising a red flag. The signing of a goalkeeper who drops the pen prior to signing the contract would rightly be alarming. Although I’ve never been party … Read more
For the majority of my adult years I’ve had to conform with the rules of life, both written and informal. At times, the societal norms I am obliged to yield to frustrate me, and the more I explore the world the more I realise that, although many commonalities exist, wonderful exceptions are evident too, especially … Read more
I do admit to being a professional potty mouth. My filler expletive regularly engages with my favourite and most versatile of profane words: fuck. Its versatility is pretty much limitless: both a verb and a noun, an expression of elation and disappointment, a call to action and a decision to sit it out. As an … Read more
Quotes about change are as plentiful as there are folk who fail to do so. Nonetheless, my favourite line on this subject is by the author Robert C. Gallagher: “Change is inevitable—except from a vending machine.” As for me, there have been many incarnations and no doubt there will be others that will inevitably bewilder … Read more
All you need to know about Vietnam, from the unique perspective of the British equivalent of Inspector Clouseau, who usually turns up at the airport and says, “Where are we going?” Collecting my travel money in advance of my Southeast Asian late October adventure to a place personally epitomised by the hauntingly vibrant Paul Hardcastle … Read more
“Some people are on the pitch; they think it’s all over. It is now!” is one of the most iconic moments of sporting commentary – delivered by the BBC’s Kenneth Wolstenholme at the conclusion of the 1966 FIFA World Cup: objectivity and subjectivity beautifully fused together to capture not only the finality of the game … Read more
The collective national sigh of relief as Labour wrenched the reins of power from the corrosive grasp of the Conservatives following the July 2024 election was apocryphal. Amongst other repulsive traits, sleaze, gaslighting, and being serenaded by lies, damn lies and scandalous statistics would surely be destined for the tip, along with the political careers … Read more