Putin, power, and Poohsticks.

As megalomaniacs go Vladimir Putin isn’t that special. A Bond villain appearance is the typical and very necessary façade but what exactly motivates them?

In Putin’s case money alone is doubtful, since it is probable that he is the richest person on Earth with a personal fortune of circa $200 billion. To put this mind-boggling sum into perspective the gross domestic product of the United Kingdom in 2020 was $2,707.74 billion, representing 2.4% of the world economy. In other words, Putin’s wealth is north of 7% of the UK figure or around … hang on a minute, I won’t even bother with the planetary computations. Putin is infinitely rich, and according to many news sources he is also closely aligned to organised crime.

What to believe about Putin’s fortune or clandestine associations is shrouded in mystery; however, as a post graduate criminologist I can say with a degree of professional certainty that he is a shady fuck.

So, if it’s not the moolah, what gives him a stiffy?

It’s POWER! And this energy does weird things to the human mind.

Research by Andy J. Yap, et all in the paper, “The powerful size others down: The link between power and estimates of others’ size” led Yap to conclude that feeling powerful or indeed powerless changes the perception of others. The bigger the chest thumping the smaller the opposition appear, contrasting a timid posture which accelerates the polar opposite. Putin’s often published bare-chested pursuits, especially on horseback, and the recent footage of him meeting the French President Emmanuel Macron at a table larger than a bowling alley, exploit this lofty power play perfectly.

(Wikimedia creative commons licence)

So, it is perfectly logical to deduce that Putin believes Ukraine to be wholly inferior and the incumbent Premier Volodymyr Zelenskyy no more than a comedian. And his perceptions of the Western alliances? Probably the same, given the recent comedy gold of the Trump presidency and the UK’s epic and flawed decision to leave the EU, a coalition of European States that has successfully thwarted continental conflict since the end of WWII.

Yet, power has a habit of corrupting not only morality but reasoning too.

As Lord Acton, the 19th-century British historian, put it – “Power tends to corrupt,” adding, “Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” His words have held true in many subsequent psychological studies, especially the Stanford Prison Experiment that examined the effects of authority and powerlessness. Putin is a dictator within a governmental apparatus that lacks a true separation of constitutional powers where the executive, legislature and judiciary have distinct independent powers and responsibilities. Putin controls the whole fucking shebang – including deployment of a thermonuclear arsenal that could destroy the planet many times over.

However, on a more positive note, there is one power that Putin is incapable of mastering – Poohsticks. Made famous in the Winnie the Pooh book, “The House at Pooh Corner,” this simple game relies on the force of nature.

Putin can’t overpower mother nature.

Putin can’t dodge death.

Putin is therefore tiny.

And I will conclude with a little sentence crafted especially for this titchy tyrant:

“Fuck off!”

© Ian Kirke 2022

Title photograph by Tina Hartung on Unsplash