How often have you woken disappointed that you only recall fragments of that dream? The one that doesn’t make sense and is often framed within a bizarre fantasy. Dreams exist for several psychological reasons, including the notion that they may help us consolidate and better understand our memories, which in turn equips us to respond more positively to what life throws at us. But what of the fantasy element? Is fantasy, whether we are dreaming or fully conscious, good for us? Is it a part of human cognition that should be liberated, enjoyed, and actively encouraged, or should it be tempered with caution and constraint?
The internet has opened up an unparalleled route to knowledge and information. Creativity within this global domain has seen many human activities digitised – shopping, access to medical care and finance are only the tip of the iceberg. Accessing fantasy has also become a matter of a few clicks. As a junior police officer during pre-Google days, I remember talking to a colleague who was reviewing a stash of seized pornographic material which included videos, magazines and stills. His task was to note down content that offended the prevailing legal definition on obscenity. Given that this was the 1980s I can only assume that this test was fairly narrow. By example, when I joined in 1982 it was an offence punishable by imprisonment to have a homosexual relationship with another man unless a series of Victorian rules were met. I saw that his review sheet had a series of columns, some of which contained ticks. However, my attention was drawn to the comments section which included a variety of explicit notes outlining, in my opinion at the time, bizarre sexual acts engaging with groups of people, acrobatic positions and objects – both those specifically designed for sexual stimulation and everyday items that I had, for example, used to quell an outbreak of fire or to cook my dinner.
Once he had graphically explained some of his first-hand observations curiosity got the better of me, and I experienced a sudden pang of horror combined with the simultaneous desire to look. This juxtaposition was perhaps the first time I had encountered the twilight zone where reality joins fantasy and I didn’t know what the correct reaction was. Should I be disgusted with myself or celebrate a positive human trait? Without imagination or fantasy can humanity overcome the impossible or the improbable? But was I just trying to gloss over the fact that hardcore porn had sparked an interest? What was good fantasy and was there such a thing as bad? I was very aware of the existence of tabloid reports that exposed ‘fantasists’ as mentally unstable. Carl Beech created a fantasy world of murder and paedophilia that conned the Metropolitan Police during Operation Midland, conducted between November 2014 and March 2016. Several high-profile individuals endured awful stigma, including Lord Brittan, who died in January 2015, with the ultimate verdict on his innocence delivered by letter to his grieving widow.
So how should fantasy be defined? Friend or foe? Good or bad? Sinful or celebratory? And should I look away from the light?
Culture often feeds our beliefs and occasionally these can manifest as laws. Contrary to popular myth Queen Victoria didn’t refuse to accept that lesbianism existed when she signed the royal assent in the late nineteenth century making male homosexuality illegal, although this begs the question of why there was no equivalence? Indeed, to this day I can find no domestic legislation that specifically makes girl on girl lovemaking illegal. As a straight guy let me just reflect on that particular fantasy for a moment! And does that therein explain the absence? Has fantasy undermined the law?
Both in the US and UK statutes exist primarily, and quite correctly, to protect the young and vulnerable. Although adult fantasy, especially if fuelled by pornographic images or literature, with the latter including texts between consenting parties, can be problematic. In the UK illegal content is defined as ‘extreme pornography’ and connects with depictions that are grossly offensive, disgusting or otherwise of an obscene character, and can lead to, amongst other outcomes, serious injury to a person’s anus, breasts or genitals. I had an immediate flashback to my colleague’s check sheet and remembered the note, ‘fire extinguisher.’ Ouch! Reflecting on my own fantasies could they have the potential to cross these lines? Stateside the picture seemed even more draconian.
Marty Klein PhD, who has my dream job of a certified sex therapist, asserts, “You are NOT free to fantasise about sex that is illegal. If you do, and you’re caught, you will have to prove you do not actually want to do those things. This is almost impossible. In fact, in my experience as an expert witness in courtrooms across America, I’ve rarely seen anyone do it successfully.” I was beginning to think that my wank-bank needed some significant editing just to keep out of jail! But is it too late for me?
According to the contention of renowned neurologist and founder of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud in his personality theory published in 1923, our character is a combination of three elements that develop at separate stages of our lives – id, ego, and superego. As Saul McLeod, MRes, PhD, explains, “the id is the primitive and instinctual part of the mind that contains sexual and aggressive drives and hidden memories, the superego operates as a moral conscience, and the ego is the realistic part that mediates between the desires of the id and the superego.” However, since Freud’s work was based on observations and patient case studies rather than empirical research many luminaries look upon his conclusions with a significant degree of suspicion. So, was he in fantasyland too? Well, in my humble opinion, anyone who makes a connection between bowel habits, or toilet training, and anal traits deserves a welcome entry, even via the backdoors. A pause for another fantasy – I’ll be back in a moment!
OK – back in the room albeit still confused. Where were my fantasises on the continuum that commenced at vanilla, negotiated titillation, household implements, ginormous sex toys, and pain before reaching into the forbidden and ultimately Carl Beech territory?
Contemporary research by American psychologists Sheryl C. Wilson and Theodore X. Barber, first reported in 1981, provides a more comforting analysis. Fantasy prone personality, found in around four percent of the population, culminated in a permanent and all-encompassing participation in fantasy. I guess the trick is not to allow fantasy and fantasising to become your dominant feature.
Since I fantasise about many other topics, including football, speedway, food and receiving the Nobel prize for literature, and usually have distinct episodes of sexual desire, I am confident in declaring that I am one of the ninety-six percent of the population who has an incredibly positive association with make-believe. Now please excuse me as I have to arrange a trinity tryst with Zozibini Tunzi, Bella Hadid and Deepika Padukone, all wearing Notts County shirts!
© Ian Kirke 2022
Title photograph by Alice Alinari on Unsplash