The world according to Kirkey
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says, “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s … Read more
We Brits are renowned for our sense of humour; undisputed world champions in the disciplines of sarcasm, satire, and innuendo. We can dish it out with craft and conviction. Taking the piss out of others is second nature to the British ─ so good are we that we just as elegantly turn this superpower inwards … Read more
Sitting minding my own business, drinking a cuppa, the general hubbub of Starbucks was occasionally perforated by the shrill call of a name: “Oscar!” then another, “Sherlock!” and finally, “Hugo!” I was, on one hand, glad that my own kids have grown up and left home, but on the other, I was perplexed. This group … Read more
The main character in this catastrophe is the United Kingdom, and the chief protagonists in its demise into a pariah state at breath-taking velocity are a precocious liar and a man who is absolutely unrivalled in reaping division – with a surname similar to the small structure you park your car in. On reflection, what … Read more
The Imperial War Museum stands proudly in the leafy suburb of Lambeth, South-East London, protected by two magnificent naval guns pointed upward and poised to thwart an imaginary foe. My previous visits to this iconic structure have always left me feeling incredibly proud of our armed services, and in particular how we stood resolute against … Read more
The late, great, footballer, Jimmy Greaves, is credited with coining the phrase – “It’s a funny old game!” The same can be said about speedway as club fortunes can often experience glory one season, then gloom the next. Peterborough fans will testify to that in recent years. With the often unpredictable nature of rider averages, … Read more
The inevitably of ageing didn’t resonate with me at all until, in my late twenties, I started to go thin on top. Even then, the rest of me seemed to be in fine fettle: skin pretty radiant, eyes aglow, and limbs lithe – even if I do say so myself! The trigger signalling a clear … Read more
According to Aristotle, “The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance.” If I had shared a beer – or more fittingly a slug of Kykeon ─ with the eminent Greek philosopher, I would have sought to clarify his baffling supposition. I have always struggled with the … Read more
Eating steak had never had this effect on me before, but this was my first time at 4 Gats – the quintessentially quirky Catalonian restaurant in Barcelona. Opened in 1897, it was renowned as the foremost meeting place of the artistic, eccentric, and supposed outsiders. I felt immediately at ease; no doubt I was sitting … Read more
I awoke this morning dog tired; I had tried counting sheep, but I have to admit I’m no night owl. I wasn’t feeling a hundred percent but thankfully I wasn’t as sick as a parrot. Looking at my reflection in the bathroom mirror – as bald as a coot ─ I nonetheless thought I looked … Read more