What should we talk about today?
The world according to Kirkey
I like Harry immensely. As a young boy he endured the life changing pain of the premature death of his mum within the gaze of the world. The iconic picture of him at his mother’s funeral reduced me to tears. His enforced royal dignity for one so young was truly heart-breaking. As a frontline soldier, … Read more
I admit that I clapped under sufferance. Not because I wasn’t in awe of our brilliant NHS but more so the nagging feeling that this was no more than an orchestrated token of appreciation. Formed on 5th July 1948, a result of the 1942 Beveridge cross-party report, and launched by Labour’s Minister of Health Aneurin … Read more
I have little proof in this assertion however, I passionately believe that Sophie Ellis-Bextor was thinking about me when she and Gregg Alexander wrote ‘Murder on the Dancefloor’. Perhaps even Genesis saw some footage of my exploits too, enabling them to title their famous 1991 track, “I can’t dance.” When it comes to dancing I … Read more
Now that I have your attention, may I commence with an apology for any male readers. This isn’t an article about masturbation although I do fully acknowledge that for most of us blokes this is a super-power. Assuming at this point that I have lost around fifty percent of the initial readership let me explain … Read more
Being deceived, duped, conned, or shafted isn’t pleasant. But if you have been you are in damn good company. In 30 BC, according to Plutarch, Cleopatra misled her protector Epaphroditus and committed suicide. Prime Minister Anthony Eden was duped by Harold Macmillan during the Suez Crisis of 1956 resulting in the latter getting the top … Read more
If you prefer Kellogg’s cornflakes in the morning your libido may take a knock when you realise that the cereal mastermind Dr John Harvey Kellogg, allegedly, maintained that his creation would alleviate the desire to wank. It is true that he was, according to many historians, a little prissy when it came to engaging with … Read more
History will cite an impressive timeline of inventions that have shaped humanity. Stone tools made an appearance around three million years ago. A tad over a million years later the control of fire is thought to have been harnessed by our distant cousin Homo habilis, whilst in 1300 BC the industrialisation of iron smelting kicked … Read more
There remains a degree of uncertainty over who the following words are attributable to, although being long gone I am sure that none of the ancestors of Benjamin Franklin, in a letter written in 1789 about the American Constitution, or Christopher Bullock, in his novel The Cobler of Preston (1716) or indeed Edward Ward, in … Read more
On March 23rd, 2020 a relatively redundant word, save outside of the confines of high-security prisons, became mainstream: Lockdown. This new phenomenon led the majority of the sixty-seven million inhabitants of the United Kingdom to self-isolate at home to mitigate the ravages of the COVID-19 pandemic. Many businesses went into stasis and an anxious resignation … Read more
I am Gok Wan’s alter ego. If his utterly stupendous fashion sense is North I am South. Where he burns I freeze. Thus, without M&S I guess I would have to resort to wrapping myself in a refuse sack. I am also tight. Vouchercloud is my primary App and my wallet bursts with store discount … Read more