What should we talk about today?
The world according to Kirkey
Eyes closed, deep breathing punctuated by a regular groan of ultimate pleasure, and a feeling of real ecstasy. I could suffer this pleasure for eternity. Ooh ─ a virgin piece of skin – keep going! During this special, intimate, time I don’t have a care in the world, and the wish to be reincarnated as … Read more
The Book of Mormon engages with the terrains of disinformation, religious ideology, and hope; influences that affect everyone, but most just doff their hats in the general direction and conveniently shuffle away. Intertwined with female genital mutilation, dysentery and fucking frogs, the show manages to be both hilarious and powerfully thought-provoking. Sticking a finger up … Read more
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says, “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s … Read more
Sitting minding my own business, drinking a cuppa, the general hubbub of Starbucks was occasionally perforated by the shrill call of a name: “Oscar!” then another, “Sherlock!” and finally, “Hugo!” I was, on one hand, glad that my own kids have grown up and left home, but on the other, I was perplexed. This group … Read more
I awoke this morning dog tired; I had tried counting sheep, but I have to admit I’m no night owl. I wasn’t feeling a hundred percent but thankfully I wasn’t as sick as a parrot. Looking at my reflection in the bathroom mirror – as bald as a coot ─ I nonetheless thought I looked … Read more
For a few nights following the ‘event’ I had fractured sleep and felt an all-consuming miserable malaise take hold of me which I simply couldn’t shake off. Not even the plethora of well-meaning words of wisdom from those around me moved me into the light of positivity. The gut-wrenching scream of twisting metal whilst simultaneously … Read more
I am not by any stretch of the imagination a petrol head. I have never attempted to change the oil, replace an air filter, and I always fuck up a windscreen wiper blade change, although to be fair I once swapped a set of spark plugs and have changed a couple of wheels in my … Read more
MADNESS – Windsor Racecourse, UK: Friday 26th August 2023. According to the Oxford English dictionary, madness is defined as “crazy or stupid behaviour that could be dangerous,” and for those of you looking in on the United Kingdom at the moment, our once stable country has become the very essence of this statement. Our zombie … Read more
If I am brutally honest, I find most people irritating. For the whole of my adult life I have worked with, lived with, and been around people. I am beginning to believe that a period of solitude on a remote island or being totally lost in a crowded place where English isn’t the native language … Read more
From time to time I have been known to indulge in creative writing, but even I am a tad impressed with this piece ─ connecting speedway, a future king and the nineteenth century composer Richard Wagner! Stay with me for the full four laps and I will tell all … I had not seen my … Read more