What should we talk about today?
The world according to Kirkey
As an ex-cop I find many police dramas mildly irritating. It’s normally the process issues that make my teeth grind, such as a uniformed officer standing guard at the interview room door as the heroic plain clothed detectives place the hapless suspect in checkmate. With custody alarms readily available to summon assistance this waste of … Read more
Looking good at my age—especially since I took the radical step of shaving off all my hair—is no easy feat. The old clichés of having a face fit for radio and one only a mother could love remain painfully accurate descriptors of my public-facing façade. Being bald somewhat limits my ability to reinvent my appearance, … Read more
Storytelling has been a feature of my life. I wrote this piece in 1991 (typed by my late wife Theresa in the typing pool at Bracknell Police Station) but only recently rediscovered it whilst clearing out the attic. A true account – embellished for comedic value – that recounts a period of my life lost … Read more
My mind is usually in a state of chaos with thoughts – both abstract and defined – fighting for supremacy. At one end of the continuum, daydreaming can be therapeutic and provides the space for creativity and imagination to enthrall and entertain. At the extreme, I can indulge in over thinking. Wherever the cognitive dial … Read more
Is the local Wetherspoons the real community hub where the human condition is fed and watered? Whenever I consider matters of a fiscal nature, value for money is always a significant driving force. Being born in the 60s, I have inherited the values of my parents which instilled the notion of financial probity. Moreover, I … Read more
I was recently scolded for my seemingly persistent use of the double entendre on social media. My guilt is overwhelming, with my allegiance to the “nudge, nudge, wink, wink” approach of comedy undeniable – a humorous expression used to imply a hidden or suggestive meaning without stating it directly has become my primary route to … Read more
The UK weather in early January is usually equivalent to wintertime in Siberia, especially the coastal regions where the wind-chill factor can scare off the most robust of brass monkeys. So why on earth had I decided to embark upon the epic trek up to the Northeast Lincolnshire seaside resort of Cleethorpes? Membership of the … Read more
A recent Facebook post provoked a sudden synaptic spasm: Some people think it’s peculiar that I am a Notts County season ticket holder and follow them all over the country whilst living in Berkshire, questioning my sanity and the amount of money that I spend on this enduring pursuit. But I’m not daft! In comparison … Read more
For the majority of my adult years I’ve had to conform with the rules of life, both written and informal. At times, the societal norms I am obliged to yield to frustrate me, and the more I explore the world the more I realise that, although many commonalities exist, wonderful exceptions are evident too, especially … Read more
I do admit to being a professional potty mouth. My filler expletive regularly engages with my favourite and most versatile of profane words: fuck. Its versatility is pretty much limitless: both a verb and a noun, an expression of elation and disappointment, a call to action and a decision to sit it out. As an … Read more