What should we talk about today?
The world according to Kirkey
The former Prime Minister David Cameron’s willingness to respond ‘positively’ to requests for evidence in the Greensill scandal reminds me of the famous Richard Nixon quote, “There can be no whitewash at the White House” in his first Watergate speech in 1973. Those of a certain age will know how that poorly scripted contrition ended. … Read more
Buildbase FA Trophy semi-final Notts County 3 v Hornchurch FC 3 (Hornchurch FC win 5-4 on penalties) After that result I’m popping out to the shops. In 2007 The Daily Telegraph revealed that Notts were the most stressful team to support. Today they became the most embarrassing. Yet tomorrow I will wake up and still … Read more
When did we actually get mugged by the big corporates? Why can’t I simply buy a pair of black plimsolls and walk with my head held high? How come we yearn to be labelled? Like the perimeter advertising hoardings that enclose the Meadow Lane pitch of Notts County. And when did buying a cup of … Read more
Two events, separated by hours, which collided one Sunday afternoon connected several seemingly diverse subjects: the British Royal family, the cover of a magazine containing words of a foreign language I do not speak, court jesters, a psychological theory developed in the 1960’s, and my mum. The common thread holding together these odd bedfellows is … Read more
I have little proof in this assertion however, I passionately believe that Sophie Ellis-Bextor was thinking about me when she and Gregg Alexander wrote ‘Murder on the Dancefloor’. Perhaps even Genesis saw some footage of my exploits too, enabling them to title their famous 1991 track, “I can’t dance.” When it comes to dancing I … Read more
Now that I have your attention, may I commence with an apology for any male readers. This isn’t an article about masturbation although I do fully acknowledge that for most of us blokes this is a super-power. Assuming at this point that I have lost around fifty percent of the initial readership let me explain … Read more
Being deceived, duped, conned, or shafted isn’t pleasant. But if you have been you are in damn good company. In 30 BC, according to Plutarch, Cleopatra misled her protector Epaphroditus and committed suicide. Prime Minister Anthony Eden was duped by Harold Macmillan during the Suez Crisis of 1956 resulting in the latter getting the top … Read more
If you prefer Kellogg’s cornflakes in the morning your libido may take a knock when you realise that the cereal mastermind Dr John Harvey Kellogg, allegedly, maintained that his creation would alleviate the desire to wank. It is true that he was, according to many historians, a little prissy when it came to engaging with … Read more
History will cite an impressive timeline of inventions that have shaped humanity. Stone tools made an appearance around three million years ago. A tad over a million years later the control of fire is thought to have been harnessed by our distant cousin Homo habilis, whilst in 1300 BC the industrialisation of iron smelting kicked … Read more
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says, “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s … Read more