The world according to Kirkey
My first contact with the vagina was by way of a remote viewing. A mate excitedly explained that he had found a stash of discarded “nudie books” in a ditch proximate to a local lorry park. Aged twelve, my curiosity ─ coupled with pulsing pre-pubescent itches ─ made the thought of seeing a naked woman … Read more
Swearing my oath of allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II all those years ago was, at the time, a purely symbolic act; the rite of passage into my previous career as a cop. At the conclusion of this pledge I became a servant of the Crown. This heavyweight commitment was memorable for a unique … Read more
The philosophy of identity has been the subject of unceasing debate since the origin of humankind. If you are so minded, you can read the classical scholarly accounts, including the marathon poem ‘The Odyssey,’ understood to have been penned by Homer around the eighth century BC, which, amongst other things, connects with the notion of … Read more
A part of what it is to be British died today. I will miss her. © Ian Kirke 2022 & title photograph @ianjkirke
A few decades ago, in a time that is now a relic of my former life, walls were both symbolic and vital. I was a cop, but there were times when it was perhaps more advisable to deny that fact – an enforced yet necessary barrier – especially when I was undercover or off duty … Read more
Your natural glow has been dimmed by the darkness, but your courage and bravery pulses strobe like and so powerfully that you have made me blink. The path ahead will be tough, treacherous and at times terrifying, but you will make it. We have some important dates to fulfil – Meadow Lane, Sydney, and Orlando … Read more
MADNESS – Windsor Racecourse, UK: Friday 26th August 2023. According to the Oxford English dictionary, madness is defined as “crazy or stupid behaviour that could be dangerous,” and for those of you looking in on the United Kingdom at the moment, our once stable country has become the very essence of this statement. Our zombie … Read more
Like many speedway fans, up and down the country and beyond, I had decided to mark the welcome return of the FIM British Grand Prix to The Principality with a long weekend stay in glorious South Wales. Based in Swansea, the buzz of the Cardiff carnival on Saturday was only a short train journey away. … Read more
Looking back on my sex life, I will admit that I was an awfully late developer. I recall sex education lessons at school in the dim and distant past – the titters, uncomfortable swinging of legs under the wooden chairs, the standard video of a cross-sectional female – with one leg ─ and animated sperm … Read more
If I am brutally honest, I find most people irritating. For the whole of my adult life I have worked with, lived with, and been around people. I am beginning to believe that a period of solitude on a remote island or being totally lost in a crowded place where English isn’t the native language … Read more