General
People watching: the art of deduction
Having ordered my pot of tea I waited for the optimum moment to maximise my purchasing power. The pouring of the milk, followed by the inevitable smile was my cue, “And a pot of boiling water please!” Years of experience synthesised in a second to seduce the situation to my advantage – I could squeeze … Read more
Pinocchio politics: who is pulling your strings?
Who hasn’t told a lie? Or if it helps to better set your moral compass ─ a fainter fib or weaker white lie? It is a human trait, be it to protect the feelings of others (does my bum look big in this?) or to simply swerve scrutiny of a scandalous swindle (I didn’t text … Read more
Affairs of the heart: a nutritional guide to elicit nookie.
An affair should be, I assume, a combination of lurid lust, scintillating sex, frenzied fantasy, and riotous risk. The pulsing of the typically in and out experience, with secrecy secured by perhaps a preference for a backdoor entry, requires an energy that needs a ready supply of ─ literally and metaphorically ─ fucking fuel. So, … Read more
Speedway Best Pairs
On track we see the swashbuckling, adrenalin charged champions of speed! Risk takers and racers! But after removing the helmet and boots, and securing the motorcycle, is life more akin to Hollywood or Borehamwood? And what is it actually like living with a speedway rider? Moody and sulky, or steady and compassionate? And do they … Read more
I want to build a speedway track!
With endless reserves of enthusiasm, a head looking rather like a hard hat and dreams of winning the Premiership title at the first attempt, how deep would my pockets have to be to build my own speedway arena? And whilst I’m in the planning stage, why not add a retractable roof to my eco-friendly venture? … Read more
The science of sociology … over a pint.
On cue the WhatsApp message pinged confirming that my mate would be late for our planned drinking session. A legitimate delay, but nevertheless characteristic. Since I had cadged a lift to our rendezvous point, I thought it only fit and proper that I take refuge in the pub and await his arrival. Hopping out of … Read more
What makes me, me?
Lying awake in bed as a kid I often wondered what it felt like to me. This abstract thought process ebbed away as I got older, holding many other beautiful aspects of my childhood imagination to ransom as the drudgery of adulthood eventually took control. As a child I didn’t know how commonplace this self-reflective … Read more
Thanks for the memories … but how true are they?
I currently have just shy of twenty thousand photographs on my iPhone, dating back to January 2011. This averages out at nearly five pictures a day or around one every two waking hours. I keep promising myself that one day I will start to declutter and ease the burden on my mobile and iCloud account. … Read more
