Inspector Clueless does Vietnam.

All you need to know about Vietnam, from the unique perspective of the British equivalent of Inspector Clouseau, who usually turns up at the airport and says, “Where are we going?” Collecting my travel money in advance of my Southeast Asian late October adventure to a place personally epitomised by the hauntingly vibrant Paul Hardcastle … Read more

Big Bald Ian!

Apparently the measurement of a successful author is the swift launch of a follow up book. I’m proud to announce that “Big Bald Ian” has proved an instant hit with Darcie! © Ian Kirke @ianjkirke Title photograph reproduced by kind permission of Emma Ellis.

Beasting it in Benidorm: synopsis of the stag do.

The stag do – or as our friends across the pond would call it, the bachelor party – can be traced back to ancient Sparta (circa 404 B.C.) where soldiers would hold a celebration for a groom the night before his wedding. This masculine meet sought to bid a final salute to singledom whilst preparing … Read more

Living in spite of death.

There is something compelling about graveyards and the narrative they provide for the living. Once people gathered around these memorials, no doubt expressing the undertaking of eternal remembrance; but that isn’t a reality, since we all wither – just like these stones. Filling the space between being born and ending up in a similar place … Read more

Bradford bromance.

Leaving base camp at a little after 8am, the train journey north from Reading would traverse to Birmingham New Street, then up to Leeds, and finally across to the promised land: Bradford. As a southern-based Notts County season ticket holder, I guess I could class most fixtures – in terms of distance ─ as away … Read more

Up a bit; to the left ─ right there! Fuck that’s good! The bliss of a back scratch.

Eyes closed, deep breathing punctuated by a regular groan of ultimate pleasure, and a feeling of real ecstasy. I could suffer this pleasure for eternity. Ooh ─ a virgin piece of skin – keep going! During this special, intimate, time I don’t have a care in the world, and the wish to be reincarnated as … Read more

The Book of Mormon: one in the eye for indoctrination.

The Book of Mormon engages with the terrains of disinformation, religious ideology, and hope; influences that affect everyone, but most just doff their hats in the general direction and conveniently shuffle away. Intertwined with female genital mutilation, dysentery and fucking frogs, the show manages to be both hilarious and powerfully thought-provoking. Sticking a finger up … Read more

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the first corner: what makes the stars laugh out loud?

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says, “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s … Read more