UK: utter Madness.

MADNESS – Windsor Racecourse, UK: Friday 26th August 2023. According to the Oxford English dictionary, madness is defined as “crazy or stupid behaviour that could be dangerous,” and for those of you looking in on the United Kingdom at the moment, our once stable country has become the very essence of this statement. Our zombie … Read more

Affairs of the heart: a nutritional guide to elicit nookie.

An affair should be, I assume, a combination of lurid lust, scintillating sex, frenzied fantasy, and riotous risk. The pulsing of the typically in and out experience, with secrecy secured by perhaps a preference for a backdoor entry, requires an energy that needs a ready supply of ─ literally and metaphorically ─ fucking fuel. So, … Read more

Speedway Best Pairs

On track we see the swashbuckling, adrenalin charged champions of speed! Risk takers and racers! But after removing the helmet and boots, and securing the motorcycle, is life more akin to Hollywood or Borehamwood? And what is it actually like living with a speedway rider? Moody and sulky, or steady and compassionate? And do they … Read more

Ho! Ho! Fucking Ho!

One Christmas Eve, aged around ten, I heard some odd shuffling noises coming from the landing. Tucked up in bed I decided to investigate, but I had to be cunning since my parents had given me a clear directive, “If you don’t go to sleep Father Christmas won’t come!” Lifting myself gingerly onto the chest … Read more