What should we talk about today?
The world according to Kirkey
On cue the WhatsApp message pinged confirming that my mate would be late for our planned drinking session. A legitimate delay, but nevertheless characteristic. Since I had cadged a lift to our rendezvous point, I thought it only fit and proper that I take refuge in the pub and await his arrival. Hopping out of … Read more
If my own experiences are anything to go by funerals are usually pretty sombre occasions. I suspect the only exceptions to this general rule are when genocidal maniacs such as Hitler, Genghis Khan, and Pol Pot kick the bucket. Culture shapes what rituals are followed and how mourners should behave, with religion very often presiding … Read more
One Christmas Eve, aged around ten, I heard some odd shuffling noises coming from the landing. Tucked up in bed I decided to investigate, but I had to be cunning since my parents had given me a clear directive, “If you don’t go to sleep Father Christmas won’t come!” Lifting myself gingerly onto the chest … Read more
I often daydream. Indeed, as I have matured this pastime has become more regular, extended, and bizarre – culminating in forgetting to do stuff I had promised to do; for example, turning the oven on for dinner, putting the bins out or making that call. Laying on the beach without the same domestic pressures bearing … Read more
On the face of it moving a sofa from A to B was never going to be an historic event, an ‘ah-ha’ moment, or a pivotal turning point in my life. Yet as this seemingly mundane event unfolded in a somewhat adult style rendition of an Enid Blyton classic, I was reminded of some of … Read more
I do like a tad of risk in my life, yet in matters of comfort, security, and wellbeing I am pretty one dimensional – I like what I like and in true Margaret Thatcher style, “this guy is not for turning.” In relation to holidays, the late British Premier (from 1979 to 1990) had little … Read more
Rubbing shoulders with the British Royal family should have been more than sufficient reason to act with a degree of decorum. After all, Prince Charles and his wife Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, were only a stone’s throw away. I was at Royal Ascot, in my best suit, shirt and tie looking, if I do … Read more
“Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.” As these magical words, uttered by Romeo, swirled around the intimate auditorium of Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre, on the banks of the River Thames, my mind wandered – to broccoli. The reason this unassuming vegetable dominated my thoughts … Read more
Scratching my balls this morning, scrolling through the bollocks that is Facebook I came across a football post. To be more precise, a reminisce of Notts County. For those who have met me, or somewhat surprisingly have become my friend on Facebook and neither of us know how the fuck this actually happened, you will … Read more
I have licked several tasty things in my life. As a heterosexual male I can list my most favoured feminine hangouts, yet when it comes to my number one taste sensation it is wholly masculine in nature. I absolutely adore a Mr Whippy ice cream! Indeed, in applying the legal process of statutory interpretation I … Read more